naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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