i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
