they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
