she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
