Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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