I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
