And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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