You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize