Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
