12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
