I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
