Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
This is my gift to your gina
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
