if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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