You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
