whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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