I CAN MOONWALK!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
