2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
