thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
