i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
