Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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