I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You can't motorboat a personality
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
