thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Who wears a wallet chain?!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
