i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
