she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize