i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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