rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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