Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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