Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
