I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
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