Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Life is so much better after having sex.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
