He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
