you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
