david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
