I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
