We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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