O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
