Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
