How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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