I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
