after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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