you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
