Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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