highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
