we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
