nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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