i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
