I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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