so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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