I accidentally had phone sex last night
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
