dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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