u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
it's like heaven, but drunker
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
