Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
