i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
