i think my tv is drunk
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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