Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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