We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
