no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Liz is crying about burritos again.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
