i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
