Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
we're making bets on your personal life
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We are two peas in an std pod
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
