so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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