Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
