Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
