I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
