this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
