i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
